Tag Archives: DIY

The Anorexic

I really haven’t given much of an update in a while as to what I’m up to.  My most recent project is a documentary that I was hired to do regarding the state of Maryland’s taking the child of a family because the child had anorexia and had complications resulting from the disorder.  The child had already been in treatment, prior to the state’s involvement.  Going into this, I knew that there were a lot of questions that would need to be asked, especially regarding why the state felt like they needed to take the child away, which can become a rather hairy subject when the person paying the bills is the person who is going to be under a great amount of scrutiny, hypothetically paying me thousands of dollars to make a two hour inditement of him being a bad parent, and yet he was steadfast in the truth that the government is overstepping their bounds and that other parents should be aware of what is going on, though his politics are a bit right of my own (proud centrist) I can definitely appreciate a parent that is upset and lashing out.

His reasoning is to give more red tape to the government before they are able to separate children from their parents with his case hopefully being heard by the supreme court in Maryland.  After a few interviews and background discussion with educators and people in the medical field, they have very mixed opinions, as they believe it to be already too difficult with so many children being abused at home or being neglected.  Some of the points I will be exploring is the way in which once the state takes custody of a child, the state then appoints a lawyer to represent the child to the state, when that lawyer does not take into account the wishes of the child.  The state giving out bonuses for children to be taken away from their homes to social workers.  Why the state has their doctor give the prognosis of children in question, even in cases that go beyond that doctor’s scope of practice, and more so that when other medical professionals regard that prognosis, that there are no repercussions?

I have to say that it is still too early to give my opinion.  There are many questions I want answered on both sides and totally understand why many people are so suspicious of his claims, and see how some could see the parent as bringing this situation on himself, but look forward to talking with the other side’s legal team soon and look forward to sharing my conclusions.

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Network Dating

A friend of mine brought this up to me, as she is really trying to find the man of her dreams.  She really wants this, but is also, and rightfully so, not willing to settle.  She rights her own dating blog, and is very successful with it.  I might mention it later, but don’t want to try and run this on her coat tails.  She has become an actress that I work with, but we started out dating.  The dating thing didn’t go very far, but we had a lot in common and it has been great working together when she has time for my projects.  She is my muse in a lot of ways.  I have made some connections this way.  You go out on a date, and before you know it, you feel close enough that you are willing to do each other professional favors.  You need a lot of those in the entertainment media business.  You help work and build each other’s portfolios.

The flip side of that, which my friend pointed out, is that you never really know if you are dating or networking.  Networking is a huge part of what we do.  Sometimes it is not about having the best ideas, as everyone in the field has ideas, some brilliant, most not, but about getting those ideas to the people who are going to promote your projects and get them out there.  I go to bars now, not to drink, because you don’t want to come off as too much of a party person, but to just meet people and tell them about my story.  I kind of hate it and resent that I have to do it, but it is part of the job.  Along those lines, I talk to a lot of people.  We conference to more greatly go over ideas.  By the nature of two people having drinks or a meal together, sometimes one or both gets the wrong idea.  I’ve had men who assumed that I’m gay, I’m not, who thought me being a film maker was just a ploy.  Some women who I have no interest in tend to think I’m flirting when I’m not, to assume that I’m a creep.  I’ve had girls that I have worked with, who I respected very much, that I would have done anything to be in a relationship with them.  It has come up after we stopped working together and they were with someone else, and they had no idea.

Another big issue is that I am not going to go after someone completely as long as there is a chance that we are going to work together.  There are things about myself that I enjoy, that I would never just share to a crew of people, because it is none of their business, and I’m going to be more reserved.  I went on a date once with an actress, and she told me at the end of the date that she preferred aggressive men, and I seemed rather laid back and timid.   Generally, I am the opposite, but I didn’t want to scare of her wanting to work with me later.  A similar thing happened not too long ago when I went on a date with a girl I met online.  We had talked for a while, and she worked at a company that I really wanted to work at in the same field as me, and she said she could get me a job, hours before our first date.  Now, for the date, I’m again on my best behavior.  Despite that we had been talking for months, this is a job that pays a lot of money.  By the end, she lost that connection with me, and receded her offer to help me get the job.

I have dated actresses and photographers that worked with me before.  I had an ex girlfriend that I have stayed close to over the years tell me how unprofessional that appeared from the outside.  And while I completely see her point, there are two points that I completely think that you have to consider.   The first is that I would love to have a long term relationship that I worked with in this field.  i love to talk about my work and my stories, and would love to have a muse that I could come to at home, and work with.  The second is that so much of my life revolves around work, that it would be nice to have that person in that work.  If my partner is not, they often feel completely left out by my schedule, especially at night.  But there is the risk of offending the cast/crew with favoritism and people in this industry are often rather flaky.

In terms of me giving advice or telling you how to do this, I don’t feel that I am in a position to tell anyone else how to live their life.  I can give you my experience and warn you of the dangers that I have seen or encountered, but I am not where I want to be.  I am sure that there are other better ways to get the job done.  I would love to have advice myself, but like anything else, you learn from doing, so my only advice is to get out there and work at it.